Happiness, Self-worth and Spirit By Kino MacGregor
Self-worth is something that is innate. You don’t have to earn it. But you do need to wake up to the truth of it. Traumatic events leave scars in the mind (and sometimes also on the body) and these wounds can get in the way of recognizing your basic sense of worthiness.
I carried guilt around with me for experiences that were beyond my control. Secrets that ate away at my being because somewhere inside I blamed myself for everything that happened. I remember looking at the boys I liked in high school thinking that I wasn’t worthy of their attention bc of all that had happened to me. So I took what attention I got, but never really let myself dream the dreams that were in my heart.
That all changed with the practice. I started to unpack my emotional baggage. I let go of old wounds and hurt and saw myself as a whole and complete human being. There it was shining like truth inside of me — a core of indestructible goodness that nothing could ever harm or deem unworthy. It was like I finally understood that nothing that happened to me could ever erase my basic goodness. No matter how intense the past was it bore no impact on the beauty and purity of my inner being, the true source of my worth. The spirit, called Purusa in Sanskrit, is eternal and changeless. It lives and breathes within you and in all sentient beings. By learning to see, respect and cherish your own life you learn to see, respect and cherish all life. Hurt people hurt. Heal yourself so that you can heal your world.
Problems are complicated, happiness is so often simple. The good in every situation outweighs the bad. It just has to. If it doesn’t, it’s not over yet.
Here’s something I like to do when things seem difficult and totally stuck: I try to give things time. I saw try because when things feel stuck my first inclination is to try and fix them. If you feel the urge to lash out, type an angry text or do something rash, you’ll probably regret it later. The more you want to reply, defend yourself, talk your point through, the more you may find yourself beating a dead horse or fighting a pointless fight. In the chess game of the emotional body, the best case scenario is a non-zero sum game, where no one loses. But to see the path where everyone wins and everyone is happy you need to be calm, tuned in to wisdom and rooted in love. As long as you’re reacting you’re not acting. When you’re caught in the storm it’s hard to see how easy it can be to find your way out.
Remember this: no matter how sticky any situation is, there is a way out. It often starts with valuing yourself, listening to your own voice and honoring that and finding the time and space to return to the simplicity of being happy. When you’re happy it changes your perspective on everything. Make your job your own happiness and stick to it. Return to this simple technique: pause, take ten deep breaths. Then look around. Feel sun on your face, the gentle breeze, and let life wrap itself around you like a tender embrace. You’re loved, you’re on a unique mission and these are all just bumps on what is an exciting, fulfilling journey filled with love.